So Faithful

I am about two seconds away from changing the name of this blog to: God is Real and Faithful, Here's Another Piece of Evidence.  BOOM. 

Can I just give you a little insight into the last few days/week?

 Kenneth's car (that God provided for us for $1) was starting to cost more and more to fix.  We knew that we were going to need something.  We have spent weeks and weeks searching for something in our price range, and refusing to take on a monthly car payment.  If I could show you our budget you would straight up laugh at us just like every car dealer did (save one).  But, of course, God provided what we needed when we needed it.  Kenneth bought a car on Thursday.

Since then, I have felt a little nervous about the finances.  Any time I write a check over $25 I think I am going to puke.  I would not say that I have been "worried" but more like, "Okay God.  I trust you.  But, you realize you are going to have to big time provide for us, right?  Okay.  Well, I'll wait.  Looking forward to when you do your thing."

I have been having to fill out some paperwork that requires me to look at our adoption expenses in addition to our monthly expenses.  This with every bit of money to our name.  It makes me sweat, not gonna lie.  Immediately I think of cost of groceries, clothes, unexpected expenses, doctor visits, etc.  The list swirls and swirls in my head.  Then adding one more to that.  A girl.  I hear they are a lot more expensive.  I start thinking, "Okay, what are we going to cut out?  Food?  Electric?  Toilet paper?"  I then start going down the path, "What if our van broke?"  "What if..."  Almost instantaneously I forcibly have to stop myself.   (Does this happen to anyone else, or just me?) 

I have to stop listening to the worries.
And start speaking Truth.

I have to stop going down the "what if"s.
And start going straight to God's Word.

If I did not, I would drown in a sea of worry and doubt.  I would live in fear.  I would shut down.  This adoption would not be happening.

This adoption is not logical...at all.
It is a ginormous leap of faith.  For so many reasons.  And, trust me, the devil has thrown out every possible dart I can think of at this point to try to discourage me and shut this down.

I have been praying so frequently for God's provision.  Praying that I would be meek, trusting in Him.  Praying that I would be righteous and crave His righteousness.  Praying that our family would be used for His glory...to do whatever, whenever, wherever.  I just want to please Him.

During my time with the Lord today I was reading Matthew 5-7 (part of an incredible Precept Upon Precept study I am doing....you should check it out).  These words really stuck out to me:

"Your Father knows."

It was as if the Lord was piercing me right to the core.  "Kristy, I know.  I know what you need."

Twice in Matthew 6 we see the words "Your Father knows."  This among a whole chunk of Scripture specifically about worry.  Of which the Lord has already spoken to me about.  "Worry only about serving Me.  I will take care of your life while you serve Me.  What you worry about reveals where your treasure is.  Treasure Me."

I felt so at peace. 
So much comfort knowing that my Heavenly Father knows.  He knows better than me.

And wouldn't you know?  Before I even closed my Bible, Kenneth sent me a message telling me that someone was going to give us $500 for our adoption!

And then this afternoon I opened my e-mail to find a congratulatory message from a grant agency, awarding us a substantial size grant for our adoption!

With these two donations, along with what has already been given, we are a little more than half-way to our estimated adoption expenses!

Just like that.

Isn't He so good? 
So kind. 
So merciful. 
So faithful.