Our Adoption FAQ and a Few Other Things

We have had several people ask about our adoption lately, so here is an update and my attempt to answer the FAQ. 

**If you have any more questions about our adoption or adoption in general, we are always happy to talk about it!  We love talking adoption.  And we have lots we could talk about, so just be ready if you ask.**

Do you have a little girl yet?

NOPE.   We are around #13 on the “waiting list.”

When do you think you will bring her home?

I HAVE NO IDEA.  Really, I don’t.  From the time of referral (when you are matched with your child) to homecoming it is typically about 8 months, but anything can change at any time.  And, we don’t even have a referral.  So, I have no idea.

How old will she be?

I HAVE NO IDEAish.  We have asked for a girl between the ages of 10 months and 4 years.  It could be anywhere in that window.

Isn’t it really expensive?

Well, YES.  YES, IT IS.   

Do you have the money?

NOPE.  But, praise the Lord that we are almost 2/3 of the way to our estimated expenses!  We still have a little over $10,000 left to meet our goal.  Thank you to all of you who have given!  We cannot say that enough!

Are you excited to have a little girl, finally?!

YES!!! but TERRIFIED would probably be a better word!  Ha!  We have no idea what we will do with a girl.  But, God led us this way so He must have a plan to teach us.  I am excited to learn.

Are the boys excited?

YES.  They pray for her, talk about her, draw pictures of her, and want to buy her things in the store with Mommy and Daddy’s money.

Is the wait hard?

WANT THE HONEST, HONEST TRUTH? 

Let me just camp out here for a minute or ten…

I can in absolute honesty say right now “no.”  There are a couple of reasons for this, but the primary reason right now is the LORD.  I feel as though the last few months God has overwhelmed me with His sovereignty.  My own personal study, the lessons I have taught my small group, the discussions I have facilitated with my Precepts class—in all of it He has a megaphone to my heart saying, “I know and I’ve got this!”  (I could talk your arm off about this and show you verse after verse after verse.)

I have basked in His absolute authority over EVERY.SINGLE.THING. in all of creation. 

This has brought such comfort to me in the adoption process.  Yes, I am excited to have our daughter home, but more than that, I am excited for what God is going to do.  And He is certainly working just as much now as He will then.  I know that His plan is the best and He holds everything in His hands.  He knows the exact right time and there is nothing that anyone can do to thwart His plan.  After all, the Israelites waited hundreds of years for their Messiah, yet God did not send Him “until the fullness of time.”  And it was “at the right time” that Christ died for the ungodly. 

Beloved, He knows the right time because He invented time.  “My times are in His hands” (Psalm 31:15).  He “holds my lot” (Psalm 16:5).  “Does not he see my ways and number all my steps?” (Job 31:4).  He knows.  My heavenly Father knows (Matthew 6:8, 32).

God has shown me that He controls all things and He ordains my steps.  He promises that for those who love Him, all things work together for our good, to conform us into the image of Christ (Romans 8:28-29).  I can trust Him with the timing and the financial aspects of this adoption because He is sovereign over all of it and He promises that He will work it together for my good and His glory.  What more could I ask for?  As Job said, “Who can contend with the Almighty?”! 

This is what He encouraged me with yesterday as I studied:

As a follower of Christ I know that God has control of every circumstance (Daniel 4:35) and He has promised that He works ALL of them together for my good (Romans 8:28).  Therefore, I should have no trouble being thankful in every circumstance (I Thessalonians 5:18) because God will use it for my good.  I can be joyful for the trial because it is perfecting my faith (James 1:2-4) and making me more like Christ (Romans 8:29).

I am so thankful that God’s Word is living and active!  I am thankful that He speaks to me.  I am thankful that He comforts me with His promises and that I can rest in His sovereignty.  This is no way makes everything in life “easy” but there is joy despite circumstance. 

Like I said, His sovereignty is the primary reason.  There is also just downright practical.  We have four boys that keep us busy.  I am enjoying this time with them because I know that when she comes home, our lives will be in absolute upheaval for an unknown amount of time.  And I do mean upheaval.  Having gone through this once before, we know what we are getting into.  The first year home from Aiden and Asa was the toughest year of my life.  And trust me when I say that I am not running to go back there.  We know that this time will be different, but we know that there are going to be many sleepless nights, tantrums, absolute melt-downs, communication frustrations and just plain ole adjustment.  And there are 7 people who will be adjusting.  It’s messy and it gets ugly.  In the spirit of honesty, I am not “excited” about the ugly part.  Adoption is hard.  Beautiful and hard and absolutely worth it.

*****Disclaimer: There is a lot more pain in the waiting when you have a referral.  When you are the legal parents of a child who is across the world and you cannot get to him or her, it is much harder.  Your heart aches because a piece of it is in another country and you cannot do anything about it.  Your family is “missing” a member.  This does not nullify the sovereignty of God.  There are times when you know something to be true, but just don’t “feel” it, and that is when you have to lead your feelings in truth and try to reign in the crazy.  There is cause for deeper trust in His timing and relying on His comfort while you rest in His absolute goodness no.matter.what.