Obedience Enabling Obedience

God continues to amaze me.
Like, really amaze me.

For a few months now Kenneth and I have really been thinking about adding other children to our family.  Neither of us feel like we are "done."  But we also don't really know what that looks like.  Adoption, again?  Foster care?  God hasn't given us a clear answer, and He might not for a while.  Trust me, I am okay with that.  We just want to be open, and we can't say that we feel like our four boys are "it" for us.  In the midst of that, we have been praying about sponsoring another child in Africa. 

Let me say that it is ALWAYS God's will that we care for widows and orphans.  He clearly commands that in His Word.  James 1:27, among others.  If you say you are a believer in Jesus, it is your responsibility to care for the widow and orphan.  No exceptions.  It just looks different in each family.  For us, we were praying and asking God if sponsoring another child is what we should do, and how we should do it.  We sponsor a girl in Kenya, and to be totally transparent, it would be difficult to take on another.

So, two weeks ago I prayed, "Lord, if you would have us to sponsor another child, please provide the money.  I don't care how you do it.  Just provide and help me see your provision."

So the next day is when our washing machine broke (see last blog entry for that debacle).  Then we started asking God for wisdom to handle that situation.  During that time a friend of mine shared something with me that just blew.me.away.

She started to explain that for some reason God was telling her to give us a certain dollar amount.  She said she really struggled because she didn't want to be offensive to us.  But, then a situation came up and God made it very clear to her that she better be obedient and give the money to us anyway.  As she is explaining this, I am just laughing inside.  Because this is just like God.  To answer my prayer within two days, and then to also teach her and me in the process.  And I am thinking, "Wow.  There is a temptation in me to use that money to help soften the blow of replacing the washing machine.  But, I know exactly what God wants me to do with this money."

I quickly explained to her my prayer earlier in the week and what the money was for.  It amazes me to see how God puts something on one person's heart and then He works in another person's heart to make the thing in the first person a reality!   One person's obedience enables the obedience of another.  That is the Kingdom, alive and well!  Had she not been obedient to what God called her to do, we would not be able to carry out the task He called us to do.  I have seen this time and time again.  What an important lesson in being open to hearing God and following His command, even when it seems as strange as, "Give this person this amount of money." 

I am extremely blessed to have a husband and friends who have their lives fully on the altar before the Lord.  I love watching Him work in multiple lives to accomplish a purpose.  Whether it be sending missionaries, teaching a Bible study, enabling a family to adopt, or caring for an orphan across the globe.

  

A Change

The latest drama had nothing to do with the kids, for a change.

Last week our washing machine stopped working.  For a family of 6, with 5 of them being of the male species, it is never a good thing.  I already had let the laundry pile up more so than normal.  I was a little bummed and frantic.  Of course I made this discovery when I had already started dinner, when the boys were running late for a birthday party, and on a Saturday night.

I was able to contact the manufacturer and speak with someone in the service department.  I told her the problem and she told me the part that needed to be replaced on the washer.  She told me I could replace the part myself but it would be about 7-10 days to get the part.  I told her I didn't have that kind of time.  She suggested I try to find an appliance parts distributer.  I did.

Because it was Saturday night, I was going to have to wait until Monday morning to see if the place even had the part.  Meanwhile, there was a FOUL smell coming from the washing machine.  The detergent that I had put in had soured.  The entire second floor was starting to get a special funk.  Fantastic.

On Monday morning I called the appliance store.  They had the part.  I loaded three boys into the car, in the pouring rain, and drove over an hour to the store in the middle of downtown Birmingham.  The GPS was telling me I was at my destination, but I could not find my destination.  I was already having a hard time because I felt so unsafe.  With the help of Kenneth and googlemaps I finally realized that the store had a different name than the name on the outside of their building.  Cuz that makes sense.

After getting the part I came back home and went to work.  Meanwhile, kids are screaming, fighting and going crazy.  After an hour, I finally got the part replaced.  The washer still didn't work.  Turns out, that wasn't the problem.  At that point I was super thankful for the money I had just spent buying a part that can't be returned.  I looked in the whitepages and called an appliance repair person. 

After a few phone calls between the man and myself, he was supposed to show up at the house the next day.  I called Kenneth and told him that for some reason I just didn't feel comfortable being at the house alone while this man was supposed to be there.  (Note to self a week ago: Take that as your clue!)  Kenneth came home for lunch so that he could be here with me and the boys.

It turned out that two men showed up and told us that we needed a certain part changed out on the washer.  It had to be ordered.  We were going to be forking over another $240.  The part was supposed to be the next day.  We had to write a check for half the money.  The man said he would stamp the check with his buisness information.  I thought it was a litte strange, but I had had people do that before, so I went with it.

So we waited on the part.  Then it didn't come in.  Then it snowed.  Then it was Friday.  Day 6 of no washing machine, and a horrible horrible smell upstairs, invading the house.

Kenneth called the repair man.  He said he would be here at 9.  Then he didn't show up.  Then we called again.  He said he would be here at 2.  Then he didn't show up.  Then he didn't answer any of our calls.  Then when Kenneth called him from a different phone, he picked up, realized it was Kenneth and hung up on him!!  For the record: we still have not heard from this man.

At that point we called the police to file a report.  We had a date set up for that night and one of the girls texted to see if she could come early.  It actually worked out great because with all the chaos, I had no time to get ready.  She was able to come and take care of the kids while Kenneth and I got ready to go out.  God even works in the smallest of details.

Earlier in the week our sweet friend called and said she would babysit on Saturday morning.  I almost told her not to worry about it because we were already going out on Friday night.  But, I didn't.  And now I see that God just perfectly orchestrated this whole thing. 

Kenneth and I did a little detective work and found out that the repair man had written our check out to his mother!  What!?  I also found out that the part was never ordered.  In fact, there would have been no need to order it because they already had the part in stock.  Additionally, the appliance parts store had never heard of this man or his business.  They recommended another repair man.  We called that repair man, and left a message, hoping to the washer fixed.  We never heard back from him either.

We then prayed that God would give us wisdom on whether to get the washer fixed or buy a new one.  We felt he gave us the answer to get a new one.  And so on Saturday morning, Kenneth and I were able to go get a fraud report written at the bank and get a new washing machine.  GOOD GRIEF.

I learned so much in all of this.  God sovereignty was so absolutely evident.  His timing was perfect, as far as when this happened.  Over a weekend where there was a big appliance sale at Best Buy, when we had two sets of babysitters lined up (when does that EVER happen?!), and after I had just finished a book entitled, "Choosing Forgiveness."  What a great opportunity to put what I had learned to practice. 

I almost let the cost of everything ruin my delight over our new washing machine...almost.  The thing sings to me when the laundry is complete.  love it!

So Much For That

My New Year's Resolution was...to blog more.
Considering that it is January 17 and I haven't done that yet, you can start to get an idea of why I never make New Year's resolutions.  They always end in epic failure.  I choose to be a slacker and not feel soo guilty about it.  :)

Recently I was collecting all of my facebook status updates from 2012.
{My kids are hilarious, btw.}
Because I am obviously terrible about keeping up with all that they say and do and the insane things that go on in our family, (you know, since I don't even blog on a regular basis despite my good intentions), I am just making a Shutterfly book that includes some pictures from the year along with all my status updates.  I did this for the first time in 2011, and I love looking at the book.  It makes me laugh and cringe at the same time, which is great.

As I was looking over the status updates I couldn't help but to feel like my cup runneth over.  God has blessed us.  Most days I feel like a crazy person and my dad has rightly nicknamed me "the zookeeper."  But, when I step back from the craziness, (carefully trying to avoid pee spots, and matchbox cars), I can't imagine my life any other way.  I wouldn't want it any other way.  After the mess is cleaned up, I find most of the shenanigans downright hilarious.

I have also decided that this year is going to be even better.  For those of you who aren't around Nathan a lot, he is HILARIOUS.  Everything he does cracks me up.  Everything.  Which is why he is going to turn into a terror one day.  So.hard.to.discipline!   He is our funniest kid and so many people don't realize that because he isn't a loud talker just yet.  He talks plenty, but is just now starting to talk only in complete sentences and initiating conversation.  He is picking up on tone and jokes.  This is going to be a good year for Nathan stories.  Stay tuned.

For now, I will leave you with a few random pictures.

Unfortunately some of the funniest I cannot post because he likes to run around the house naked with cowboy boots on.  Boys...

So often I feel guilty. 
I feel sorry for my children. 
I feel like a bad parent.
And here is why. 
These are the LIES I often find Satan trying to convince me of:
"If you didn't have all these kids maybe you could afford to do nice things for one or two of them."
"Your children are so deprived because you don't have them in sports/extracurricular activities."
"You do not let them do enough fun things" or "You don't take them on many fun trips."
"Your son is going to miss out because you never have enough time with just him."
"You have too many kids because you can't do fun crafts with them and entertain them like you would if you only had one or two."

And while there are some truths in those statements, most of it is an outright LIE that flies in the face of God's beautiful truth.

I realize that my children do not have the experiences that some other children have.  We cannot have all of our kids playing sports or doing an activity right now.  I cannot have regular craft time or science experiment time because it is way more work than I can deal with and by the time I get it all set up and try to patiently instruct one child another child has already gotten paint all over the floor, or put glue on the wall, etc.  Yes, I have let super readers teach the younger two the alphabet because I cannot sit down with them the way I did with Noah.  We cannot take nice vacations or little adventures like other families can. 

But you know what? 

Those "other" children will never experience the things my children will either.  They may never know the pure craziness and joy of having a bigger family.  They may never experience the madness and delight of having so many siblings to play and laugh with.  And they may underestimate the power of a sandbox, blocks, trains and movie nights courtesy of free rentals from the local library.  (I have to remind myself of this to keep from succumbing to the lies). 

Children are a blessing from the Lord, not a hindrance.  With each child, the blessing increases. 
Children need a mom and a dad who love them and will point them to Jesus.  There are so many things that our culture says they need, that is really just unnecessary stuff. 
And, you can make a lot of fun memories as a family in a simple fashion.

As their mom, I must keep my eyes on Jesus.  I need to be more concerned with instilling God's Truth in my children and raising them for His glory, rather than feeling the need to fit in with what all the other families are doing or entertaining my children.  I need to stop giving ear to the lies and enjoy what God has given me.  Each gift.

Here are a few pictures from our cookie decorating time on Saturday.  It ended up very messy.

Just to make you feel better....

This post is strictly for your entertainment.  Well, not strictly. God is clearly using this as a means of my sanctification.  Yes, this is exactly what happened today. 

This morning Kenneth had to leave the house at 5:30 am to speak to a football team.  I woke up, let the dogs out, made lunches, woke up the boys, got the kids’ clothes out, dressed each child, made breakfast, put dogs in their crates, loaded all the kids in the van and drove Noah to school.  Upon our return I could finally take a little break to clean up the kitchen before I had to take Aiden to school.

We are in the process of potty training Nathan so he has been running around the house with no pants on this week.  (He is doing quite well).  As we were waiting until it was time to take Aiden to school, the boys were playing with their racetrack in the living room.  Nathan was sitting on the slatted bench, which is over part of the racetrack.  All of a sudden I hear, “Mooom!  My race car has pee on it!” and a subsequent “Uh-oh!”

I look over and Nathan has peed while sitting on the bench.  It has run through the slats and gotten on part of the racetrack.  The cars are the kind you shake and then let go.  Of course this is what Aiden and Asa were doing at the time Nathan peed.  So the cars ran through the pee puddle and proceeded to drag the pee all around the track.  Pee was on the bench, on the carpet, and all over the toys. 

After cleaning up that mess we loaded into the van and got Aiden to school.  I then made what can only be labeled as the worst shopping trip ever.

I took Nathan and Asa to Wal-Mart to get groceries.  They have these new carts where two kiddos can sit side by side.  I actually love the new carts.  However, when Asa and Nathan are having a bad day, it can get REALLY bad quickly.  Totally happened today.

As I was shopping Asa was trying to pull everything off the shelves.  Everything.  He was grabbing stuff and throwing it into the cart.  When I got it out to put it back, something else would go in.  I was giving stern warnings, which scare the pants off Nathan, but are of no effect to Asa. I cannot spank him in the store, and I couldn’t just leave because we need the groceries and there is no other time I could go.  Each time I tell him to stop his behavior he just loudly screams “NO! Mommy!” and bats at the air like he is going to smack me across the face.  He gives me a dirty look and finishes with a lovely finger point (no, not the middle one).

The two boys then decided to start pulling each other and hitting.  Screaming ensued.  Nice.  Toward the end of the trip Asa started screaming an ear-piercing scream and Nathan followed suit.  At this point everyone in hearing distance stopped and stared at me.  It was that bad.  That loud.  And of course when you say stop, it just fuels the behavior.

He knew he was in big time trouble, but also knew he had an audience until I paid for the groceries. 

We then go to check out.  Of course no lines are open, with the exception of self-check out and one 10 items or less lane.  Awesome.  I’ve made the mistake of going to self-check out with Asa before.  Never again.  So, I loaded up my groceries on the counter.  Asa continued his antics.  He then bit Nathan so hard that Nathan was screaming in pain and panic.  I was furious!

To make matters just even more fantastic the cashier says, “Someone needs a spanking.  You need to get the devil out of that child.”  Then proceeds to reprimand me because the she has no room to fill bags because I haven’t taken the full bags and put them in my cart.  Seriously, lady?  Meanwhile, several people with 3 measly items are behind me giving me those evil looks because I clearly have more than 30 items and my children are acting like they need an exorcism.

And if that were not enough.  She then looks at Asa and says, “Are you keeping him?  Is he adopted?”  I wanted to go Fifty Shades of Mike Tyson on her but I was so angry that whatever would come out of my mouth would certainly NOT be good.  I said, “Yes, we adopted him.  He has been home 2 years.”  She then says, “I figured.” 

Can’t.handle.the.anger.

You better believe that once I got everything loaded into the car we drove straight to Kenneth at work so he could drive the foolishness out of Asa.  I was so angry there was no way I could discipline.

When we got home Asa decided he needed to potty.  Instead of going on the potty he opted to pull down his pants and pee all over the wall.  Still trying to think of the best way to get the pee smell out of drywall.

WARNING: Do not read the next part if you are weak in the stomach.

And if that were not enough.  As I was putting the boys down for their naps I caught Asa jumping on the bed.  I pulled down his pants, in the dark, and went to spank him.  MISTAKE.  He had pooped his pants.  Guess what I got a hand full of? 

I think my blood is still resting upon the roof somewhere.

In other news, I could not be more thankful for the Halloween candy in the pantry.  I have already taken several pieces of Asa’s chocolate  Pretty sure he owes me. 

Tell of His Mighty Deeds

Scripture instructs us to praise the LORD. 
In good times.
In tough times.

And right now, I just have to praise Him for His continued provision! 
He is ever good and ever faithful. 
ALL HIS WORK IS DONE IN FAITHFULNESS.

In the last 4 days we have had some big prayers answered, and some small ones too.  And by small, I mean things that are pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.  Things that don't really matter.

First I want to back up to last week.  God has provided a way for Kenneth and I to take the older two boys to Disney, but we are not having to pay for the tickets.  This was a very generous donation, and straight from the Lord because there is no way we could ever take our kids there.  This trip is a surprise for Noah and Aiden and we leave next week!  In preparation, I thought it would be fun to get shirts with mouse ears.  A few weeks back a friend of ours had a Mickey theme party for her daughter and her sister had made the exact shirts that I was picturing in my mind!  I asked if her sister could make us some shirts and I would pay her.  She agreed even though she said she doesn't feel confident enough to actually make them for other people.  When we got the shirts back, which are great, I asked her how much I owed.  She said something to the effect of, "Growing up my dad was a pastor.  So often God provided for our family through people leaving bags of vegetables on our door.  Please consider this my bag of vegetables."  I cannot tell you how much that blessed me.  The blessing for me was the testimony of God's faithfulness to this family and His continued provision for them.  How encouraging for me!

On Saturday our family was at my brother's college football game.  We knew this would be the last game we would ever see him play.  As the minutes wound down Kenneth said, "God, I would selfishly love to see him score a touchdown."  Just then guess who scores a touchdown?  My brother.  See, this is sorta silly.  But isn't it just fun when God grants our silliest, non-eternal, requests when we know that that is what they are?  It is as if God is just saying, "Hey, I love you.  And I can give you that little blessing just because." 

This weekend I also discovered that Noah has no clothes for this fall.  He had a couple of pairs of jeans, but no shirts.  My mom bought him some items, and I had a gift card that I was able to use to get a few things.  That was a blessing in and of itself.  We really do not have the budget to just go buy a bunch of clothes right now, so I was very thankful.  But then yesterday Kenneth came home carrying a bag of clothes that someone from church had dropped off for us.  When I opened it up there were several pairs of pants--in Noah's size!

I hesitate in a way to detail this last part.  Simply because I don't want to give off a wrong impression.  However, I do feel like I want to be as faithful as I can to proclaim the deeds of the Lord.  Hopefully it will encourage someone else going through a similar struggle.  Please know my heart that I say the following to praise God for His care.

Last night I was going over our budget.  We have some needs in a few areas.  This morning I talked with Kenneth about it and we prayed.  We thanked God for the ways He has always provided for us in the past, we praised Him that He will meet our needs and we asked that the Lord would show us what we need to do.  During my Bible study today I read the following commentary on Matthew 6:33, "We must put God first in our lives, and He will see to it that we always have all that we need."  How comforting to me after the last few days and after bringing our needs before Him this morning.  The crazy thing (not crazy with God) is that I am studying James 5 right now.  Not Matthew 6.  Just so happened that there was a cross reference and the commentary gave that insight.  So less than 30 minutes after I finished my Bible study I received a call from Kenneth.  He told me that he had just received a check out-of-nowhere that covers half of what we need!  In 7 hours God had already provided! 

My heart just delights in Him! 

I will admit that it is very humbling for me to experience His provision this way.  One of my greatest areas of struggle is worry over finances.  I also do not like to be dependent upon anyone for anything.  In my pride I don't want to put anyone out or take anything.  God is always humbling me by using others to meet our needs.  From loaning us a crib, to meals, to gift cards, to giving us hand-me-down clothes, diapers, baby supplies, groceries, cleaning supplies, free babysitting, a car, an I-pod for listening to sermons, money for the adoption....the list could go on and on and on.  I cannot express how humbling that is, and how ever grateful and mindful I am of all the ways so many people have blessed us.

To me, this is a beautiful picture of the Bride of Christ.  And a beautiful picture of God taking care of His beloved children.

Aiden has had one of his off weeks this past week.  Getting sent to the principal's office for spitting in a girl's face at school on Friday, several time-outs, do-overs, etc.  We usually go through this cycle.  We have a great few weeks and them BAM.  Terrible. 

Today he had a difficult time at church and continued to be disobedient at home.  He then pooped his pants, which was the last straw for me.  I told him that he was going to bed early and reminded him of his behavior over the last few days and his need of a heart change.

As I was bathing the younger two I hear Noah yell, "Mooom!  Aiden just said you were giving him away."  I called for Aiden to come into the bathroom.  He confirmed that he had said that to Noah.  I said, "Aiden, why would you say that we are giving you away?"  His response, "Because I do bad things." 

Yikes.
Big time.

My heart just broke.

I looked into his eyes and affirmed him, his place in our family, that we will always be his mommy and daddy, and all that stuff.  It seemed to assure him and comfort him. 

It blows my mind that even after over two years being in our home he STILL thinks that he can be bad enough that we would send him back to Africa.  I never realized that at the young age of 2 the loss and the pain would be so deep that it would still be ingrained in his mind and heart.

Lord, give me the wisdom, the patience and the grace to be the parent to all my boys, but especially in caring for these tender and wounded hearts.