This post is strictly for your entertainment. Well, not strictly. God is clearly using this
as a means of my sanctification. Yes,
this is exactly what happened today.
This morning Kenneth had to leave the house at 5:30 am to
speak to a football team. I woke up, let
the dogs out, made lunches, woke up the boys, got the kids’ clothes out,
dressed each child, made breakfast, put dogs in their crates, loaded all the
kids in the van and drove Noah to school.
Upon our return I could finally take a little break to clean up the
kitchen before I had to take Aiden to school.
We are in the process of potty training Nathan so he has
been running around the house with no pants on this week. (He is doing quite well). As we were waiting until it was time to take
Aiden to school, the boys were playing with their racetrack in the living
room. Nathan was sitting on the slatted
bench, which is over part of the racetrack.
All of a sudden I hear, “Mooom!
My race car has pee on it!” and a subsequent “Uh-oh!”
I look over and Nathan has peed while sitting on the
bench. It has run through the slats and
gotten on part of the racetrack. The
cars are the kind you shake and then let go.
Of course this is what Aiden and Asa were doing at the time Nathan
peed. So the cars ran through the pee
puddle and proceeded to drag the pee all around the track. Pee was on the bench, on the carpet, and all
over the toys.
After cleaning up that mess we loaded into the van and got
Aiden to school. I then made what can
only be labeled as the worst shopping trip ever.
I took Nathan and Asa to Wal-Mart to get groceries. They have these new carts where two kiddos
can sit side by side. I actually love
the new carts. However, when Asa and
Nathan are having a bad day, it can get REALLY bad quickly. Totally happened today.
As I was shopping Asa was trying to pull everything off the
shelves. Everything. He was grabbing stuff and throwing it into
the cart. When I got it out to put it
back, something else would go in. I was
giving stern warnings, which scare the pants off Nathan, but are of no effect
to Asa. I cannot spank him in the store, and I couldn’t just leave because we
need the groceries and there is no other time I could go. Each time I tell him to stop his behavior he
just loudly screams “NO! Mommy!” and bats at the air like he is going to smack
me across the face. He gives me a dirty
look and finishes with a lovely finger point (no, not the middle one).
The two boys then decided to start pulling each other and
hitting. Screaming ensued. Nice.
Toward the end of the trip Asa started screaming an ear-piercing scream
and Nathan followed suit. At this point
everyone in hearing distance stopped and stared at me. It was that bad. That loud.
And of course when you say stop, it just fuels the behavior.
He knew he was in big time trouble, but also knew he had an
audience until I paid for the groceries.
We then go to check out.
Of course no lines are open, with the exception of self-check out and
one 10 items or less lane. Awesome. I’ve made the mistake of going to self-check
out with Asa before. Never again. So, I loaded up my groceries on the counter. Asa continued his antics. He then bit Nathan so hard that Nathan was
screaming in pain and panic. I was
furious!
To make matters just even more fantastic the cashier says,
“Someone needs a spanking. You need to
get the devil out of that child.” Then
proceeds to reprimand me because the she has no room to fill bags because I
haven’t taken the full bags and put them in my cart. Seriously, lady? Meanwhile, several people with 3 measly items
are behind me giving me those evil looks because I clearly have more than 30
items and my children are acting like they need an exorcism.
And if that were not enough.
She then looks at Asa and says, “Are you keeping him? Is he adopted?” I wanted to go Fifty Shades of Mike Tyson on
her but I was so angry that whatever would come out of my mouth would certainly
NOT be good. I said, “Yes, we adopted
him. He has been home 2 years.” She then says, “I figured.”
Can’t.handle.the.anger.
You better believe that once I got everything loaded into
the car we drove straight to Kenneth at work so he could drive the foolishness
out of Asa. I was so angry there was no
way I could discipline.
When we got home Asa decided he needed to potty. Instead of going on the potty he opted to
pull down his pants and pee all over the wall.
Still trying to think of the best way to get the pee smell out of
drywall.
WARNING: Do not read the next part if you are weak in the
stomach.
And if that were not enough.
As I was putting the boys down for their naps I caught Asa jumping on
the bed. I pulled down his pants, in the
dark, and went to spank him.
MISTAKE. He had pooped his
pants. Guess what I got a hand full
of?
I think my blood is still resting upon the roof somewhere.
In other news, I could not be more thankful for the
Halloween candy in the pantry. I have
already taken several pieces of Asa’s chocolate
Pretty sure he owes me.
