This month marks our two-year anniversary in the adoption
process. We never imagined that we would
be at this point and not have a child home, much less, a referral. But here we are.
And God is faithful.
Adoption, and international adoption in particular, is so
unpredictable. We have had so many
roadblocks, twists and turns. It would
be easy to throw our hands up in frustration, but God has made it quite clear
that He is the one who is tarrying. We
thought we would be adopting from Ethiopia.
Then we thought we would adopt from India. And now, it looks like China.
We began working on our paperwork for China back in September. We thought we would have everything finished
and ready to be sent to China in October.
And then there were delays and that didn’t happen. We finally got all of our paperwork finished
and sent off in December. Then it had to
be sent to China. Insert several delays
and holidays. Then we thought we would
have everything turned in and approved by the CCCWA (The China Center for
Children’s Welfare and Adoption) in January.
The process typically takes two weeks from the time you turn in all of
your paperwork to approval. There was a
delay and it was February before all of our paperwork was turned in. And then there was the Chinese New Year. (Who knew this was such a celebration?!) Delay.
And then there was March. Surely,
we would be approved in March. But,
no.
Then we got a call that our agency was chosen to go to China
on April 15 to evaluate children. Our
caseworker would specifically be looking for a child for us while she was there
doing her evaluations, and we would have pictures, video and her personal
evaluation. YESSS! (This is not how things typically work in the
referral process, which is why this was such a special opportunity.)
Although this seemed so promising, we did not have approval
and would not have been able to officially accept a referral. And then April came.
I began asking questions (internally) like, “Did they lose our
paperwork? What is going on? Are they going to reject us even though we
meet all the criteria? Are we even
supposed to adopt? I mean, did I hear
wrong? Did I misinterpret? Why would God provide as He has, and then
this not happen at all?”
In the midst of all these questions, I just felt spiritually
exhausted (perhaps I will detail that in another blog post, later). I was really questioning what the Lord wanted
of us with this adoption. I was begging
God to speak directly to my heart, to pierce with Himself, with His Word. One day I set my heart to read the
Psalm-of-the-Day, pick out a characteristic of God and meditate on that. That day was April 2, so I read Psalm 2.
I began to read, and I got to verse 8 and the Lord pierced
me with His Word, just as I had asked of Him.
Tears flooded my eyes. This was
the second time in a span of 24 hours that I felt the Lord directly remind me
of His nearness and love for me in a season of spiritual exhaustion, when my
feelings were not lining up with what I knew to be true.
The words brought such life, such relief, such assurance,
such hope.
“Ask of me, and I will make the nations
your heritage, and the ends of the earth your possession.”
I realize that this verse is about
mission. This is not an adoption
promise, per se. However, the Lord spoke
this so clearly as the answer to my questions.
The Spirit whispered that this is what my heavenly Father wanted me to
do.
Ask.
I will make the nations your heritage.
Yes, LORD! This is the cry of our hearts!
And then a few days later, we got an e-mail…
We are approved! YAY!
FINALLY!
But….
the trip has been delayed until August because not all of
the paperwork was in place in the province where they were supposed to do
evaluations of the children. We can
still get a referral when the new listing of children comes out each
month. This happens on a first-come,
first-serve basis, essentially.
Therefore, we could be in this position for months because all the
adoption agencies are trying to match children from this list and there is no
priority given to families who have been waiting longer. Our agency worker in China tries to work very
diligently so that she can match the families with the children who best meet
their criteria.
As soon as a child is paper-ready for adoption and meets our
criteria, we can be matched. Then, it is
typically about 3-4 months until you can bring your child home.
I have been so reminded that the Lord is making us wait for
a reason. He is in control of all
things, including governments, time and our future. For whatever reason, it is not best for us to
have this child in our family right now.
I am confident that whenever this does happen, it will be His perfect
timing and His perfect child for our family.
He knows.
Maybe one day we will understand why this adoption has taken
so much longer than we thought, with so many twists and turns. Perhaps we will not. What is important is not my understanding of
this adoption, but my confidence in my heavenly Father.